I was wide awake at 2:47 a.m. last Tuesday. Not drowsy, not drifting. Fully, annoyingly awake, doing math on how many hours of sleep I had left before the alarm went off.
It's probably happened to you too.
Maybe it was the dog barking, or one of the kids calling out, or just your brain deciding 3 a.m. was the perfect time to remember you forgot to sign a permission slip. Whatever wakes you up, the harder you try to fall back asleep, the more impossible it can feel.
A few small habits make a bigger difference than you'd think when you're trying to get back to sleep. Here are four things to avoid when you wake up at night, and three things that may help you settle back in.
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4 things not to do when you wake up at night
1. Don’t turn on bright lights
Keep the room as dark as you safely can. Bright overhead lights can make your brain feel like the day has started, so use a dim nightlight in the bathroom or hallway if you need one.
2. Don’t check your phone — or the clock
Your phone can pull your brain into “daytime” mode fast, whether you’re reading emails, scrolling social media, or checking tomorrow’s weather. And clock-watching often adds a whole new layer of stress: If I fall asleep right now, I’ll only get four more hours. Turn the clock away and leave the phone alone.
3. Don’t stay in bed getting more frustrated
If you’ve been awake for about 20 minutes and feel yourself getting annoyed, get out of bed. Go somewhere dim and do something quiet and boring, like reading a few pages of a book or listening to calm music. Head back to bed when you feel sleepy again. This helps your brain keep associating your bed with sleep instead of worry.
4. Don’t reach for alcohol
A nightcap can make you feel sleepy at first, but alcohol can disrupt sleep later in the night and make it harder to get the restorative rest you need. If you wake up thirsty, stick with a small sip of water instead.
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3 things to try instead
1. Do slow your breathing
Try a simple, low-pressure breathing pattern: inhale slowly, then make your exhale a little longer. You do not need to do it perfectly. The goal is simply to give your mind something calm to focus on instead of replaying your to-do list.
2. Do use a relaxing mental distraction
Try a short body scan, picture a peaceful familiar place, or quietly repeat a soothing phrase. A sleep meditation or calming audio can help too — as long as you set it up ahead of time and keep your screen off.
3. Do make your room sleep-friendly
A cool, dark, quiet room can make a real difference. Blackout curtains, a fan, white noise, or a low-volume sound machine may help block the little interruptions that make it harder to stay asleep.
When should you talk with a doctor?
If waking up at night is becoming a regular thing — or you’re dragging through your days because you’re not sleeping well — bring it up with your doctor. Snoring, gasping during sleep, leg discomfort, anxiety, pain, medications, and other health issues can all affect sleep. You don’t have to just power through it.
But for those every-so-often 3 a.m. wakeups, don't stress about it too much. Leave the phone alone, and if sleep doesn't come right back, remember that just lying there quiet and still, is still doing your body some good.
FAQs About Waking Up in the Middle of the Night
Why do I keep waking up at 3 a.m.?
Tons of reasons — stress, a room that's too warm, that glass of wine with dinner, caffeine that you snuck in too late, or just needing the bathroom. If it's happening most nights and you can't shake it, it's worth a quick chat with your doctor.
What should I do if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep?
Keep the lights low, leave your phone and the clock alone, and try some slow breathing or a calming mental distraction instead. Still awake and getting annoyed after about 20 minutes? Get up, find something quiet and boring to do in dim light, and head back to bed once you feel sleepy again.
Is it bad to look at my phone when I wake up at night?
Pretty much, yes. The light and the scrolling tell your brain it's time to be awake, not time to go back to sleep. As tempting as it is to check the time or your messages, your phone can wait until morning.
Can alcohol cause me to wake up during the night?
Yes. That glass of wine might knock you out at first, but it tends to backfire a few hours later and wake you back up. If 3 a.m. wakeups are a regular thing for you, cutting back on alcohol close to bedtime is worth trying.
When should I see a doctor about waking up at night?
If this is happening regularly, wearing you down during the day, or has been going on for months, it's time to make an appointment. And bring it up sooner if you're snoring loudly, gasping, or stopping breathing in your sleep, dealing with restless legs, or you think pain, anxiety, or a medication might be behind it.
Sources: National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute and MedlinePlus.
